Why are we still obsessed with #girlboss #bossbabe #boss #head honcho (all the above)?
I get it. We’re empowering ourselves, right? We’re using these tags on photos that show our professional or personal strength, fearlessness, successes, and ambition. Yay us!
But here’s the problem when it comes to relationships…
We live in a society where so many women are desiring BOSS statuses but are finding themselves single. They are desiring a relationship/marriage, but to no avail.
Recently, I was told about a conversation a group of men had about why so many women were single. They stated, “We fight all day in the workforce and the last thing we want to do when we come home is argue.” These statements kind of struck a nerve, but forced me to listen and ask myself, “Do I come across like this?”
I know several women from all walks of life who tell me how they desire to be a BOSS like me.
Truth be told, I never looked at myself as a BOSS, but as an entrepreneur. There was a purpose behind wanting to start my business and it was never to be a BOSS, but a fearless leader who knew her purpose. I had a desire to never be stifled because of my creativity. I had a desire to meet a need and a desire to help others.
I think when many people think of BOSS they think, no accountability, make your own schedule, and have unlimited freedom. But in order to have freedom, you must have accountability. To be a BOSS, you must lead—to lead, you must have direction—to have direction, you must have a vision. And to have vision, you must be still.
You see, there’s a process to leading others or as some would put it, being a BOSS. How do you know if you are qualified to lead? Do you submit to authority? When you were an employee, what would your direct supervisor say about you? Do you listen to authority figures? Because if you don’t, no one will listen to you! Are you nice? Easy to be around? Are you argumentative? If you are always in a disagreement with someone, people will not want to be around you or support your business.
Consider this. If you desire to be married, do you smile often? Men like to know you are nice and worth pursuing. Do you serve others? Yes, serve others. Are you clean, keeping a tidy household? Do you present yourself attractively? Do you have good oral hygiene? Meaning, floss your teeth regularly, brush your teeth, old school, gargle with mouthwash? Do you manage your weight? Do you work out? What about upkeeping your hair?
Honestly, I’m seeing women lose the art of femininity. It is an ART. And while men aren’t as vocal about expressing it, these are some characteristics they are looking for.
How we appear in public is a true indicator of how we feel on the inside. If you are struggling to show up as your authentic (nice) self, if you’re jaded from past failure or relationships, recognize it and pivot.
Seek the help you need to attract the right person. Seek therapy to help you process life. But please don’t think that by you being a BOSS you will solve your issues. Instead of solving your issues, they will expose you. Know that you CAN have it all—business ownership and being in a healthy relationship as a wife, but you must prepare for both.
“We’re always one choice away from a different us.” – Erwin McManus