Does Comparison Kill?

Today I heard 2 stories about 2 people who compared themselves to someone else. One person, in particular, ended a 50+ year marriage because she got on social media and became enamored with focusing on other people’s happiness. She used these images to compare her life to theirs. In turn, she was led to believe that she did not have a great life and desired something differently. She took for granted the luxury of being a stay-at-home wife and mother for most of her life and started focusing on what she did not have. Her comparison led to her making lifelong decisions she lived to regret.

The other person told me about her comparing herself to another colleague who had 3 times the amount of experience she did in her field. This comparison caused her to have self-deprecating thoughts and to devalue her process of becoming a solopreneur business owner. She was going into a deep state of depression and was overwhelmed due to a temporary situation and an unfair comparison.

My words to her were that she was disrespecting the other person’s process and journey and making an unfair comparison when no comparison was needed. She could not see her progress which included her starting from 1 client to now having over 20 consistent paying clients. She could not see the freedom she had in making her schedule and living out her dream. Instead, she felt sorrow, sadness, and insecurity.

Can you relate to any of these feelings? I sure can.

Now let’s talk about me, I realized that I compared myself to when society says you should become a mother. While I was able to do a lot in my 48 years of living, I spent countless hours questioning God for my delay in having children. Why did I have to be Sarah and become a mother later in life? But the truth is, the timing was perfect for when I should have children. I went from 0 to 3 boys in 11 months via adoption! My husband and I became the real-life “Instant Family”. In understanding my journey more, I had no idea I would lose my mom to death 6 weeks after our 3rd son was placed in our home.

But God has a way of using devastating situations to refine us. He has a way of softening my mom’s death by allowing me to experience the laughter of 3 little boys who fill our home with so much joy. God has used my wait to process some things ‘out of me’ like impatience, wanting control, and most importantly, revealing the areas I did not trust Him. There’s a scripture in Romans 8:28 that says, And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.

My life, my process, and my journey have worked out for my good. And guess what? So has yours. Your life, your process, and your journey have been specifically designed to work out for your good.

The one thing you will see from each of these stories including mine is that you do not know what someone else has gone through to get to what they have.